Words Of Affirmation

Words. The power of words truly just astounds me. They have such power to heal. And they have such power to wound. Below are some ideas on things that might be healing to say or helpful.

THINGS TO SAY:
“How can I support you in this? What would be most helpful? For example me asking about how you are doing and listening as you talk about it, coming to get your kids and helping in practical ways, etc.”
And then LISTEN. No two women will want to be supported in exactly the same way. Each grieving mama needs support in her own way, on her own terms.

“When can I come get your kiddos this week to give you some time alone?”
“How are you doing?”
“I just wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking about you and your baby.” (Always use the baby’s name if they given him or her a name)

“How is your heart doing as you grieve your baby?”
“How can I help you this week?”
“You are loved. You are seen. And you are not alone.”

“Your baby is remembered.”
“I’m grieving their life alongside you today.”
“If you name the baby and you’d be open to sharing it, we’d love to call the baby by name.”


THINGS NOT TO SAY:
“Well, you said you were finished anyways.”
“You can always try again!”
“Are you going to try again?”
“At least you weren’t very far along.”
“Well, at least your baby is in heaven.”
“Why are you so sad? You still have kids who are living.”
“Why are you being so emotional?”
“God knew what you could handle, and maybe you just couldn’t handle a baby.”